A Chaotic Mind

glimpses of the world through the lens of my perception

12,983 notes

My mother once told me that trauma is like Lord of the Rings. You go through this crazy, life-altering thing that almost kills you (like say having to drop the one ring into Mount Doom), and that thing by definition cannot possibly be understood by someone who hasn’t gone through it. They can sympathize sure, but they’ll never really know, and more than likely they’ll expect you to move on from the thing fairly quickly. And they can’t be blamed, people are just like that, but that’s not how it works.

Some lucky people are like Sam. They can go straight home, get married, have a whole bunch of curly headed Hobbit babies and pick up their gardening right where they left off, content to forget the whole thing and live out their days in peace. Lots of people however, are like Frodo, and they don’t come home the same person they were when they left, and everything is more horrible and more hard then it ever was before. The old wounds sting and the ghost of the weight of the one ring still weighs heavy on their minds, and they don’t fit in at home anymore, so they get on boats go sailing away to the Undying West to look for the sort of peace that can only come from within. Frodos can’t cope, and most of us are Frodos when we start out.

But if we move past the urge to hide or lash out, my mother always told me, we can become Pippin and Merry. They never ignored what had happened to them, but they were malleable and receptive to change. They became civic leaders and great storytellers; they we able to turn all that fear and anger and grief into narratives that others could delight in and learn from, and they used the skills they had learned in battle to protect their homeland. They were fortified by what had happened to them, they wore it like armor and used it to their advantage.

It is our trauma that turns us into guardians, my mother told me, it is suffering that strengthens our skin and softens our hearts, and if we learn to live with the ghosts of what had been done to us, we just may be able to save others from the same fate.

S.T.Gibson  (via modernhepburn)

First time I’ve ever heard the advice, “be more like Pippin.”

(via padnick)

LotR was meant as an analogy for what it was like to go through war and come home, so this metaphor was absolutely intentional on the author’s part.

(via vampmissedith)

(Source: sarahtaylorgibson, via silverybeing)

Filed under lord of the rings tolkien funny how literature is meant to help you understand things ptsd trauma war life

0 notes

thinking about making a Patreon page.  not sure what i’d give people?  I could do CDs I guess.  

and what about writing?

I dunno.  guys?  what of my stuff would you pay for/support me on, if I did a Patreon campaign?  

here is what i make:

  • electronic music (could do CDs or digital downloads)
  • written stuff (I have a few original universes bumping around in my head…novellas? advance chapters?  i am also good at writing ABOUT things, but i’m not sure what people would be interested in hearing from me about)
  • classical music (this would require cash to work with a pianist and a place to record, but it could be cool)
  • jewelry (it’s been a while, but i still have everything)
  • …can’t really send baking around the world…

what do you think?

Filed under kay makes stuff perpetually in progress electronic music classical music soprano jewelry crafts writing patreon iiiiiiii don't know what to do with myself what do you guys think?

418,104 notes

spacedyke:

turntechkhaleesi:

scoutprouvaire:

schrodingersnerd:

everythingisnightvale:

discontentramblings:

An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.

image

my hand slipped

will reblog until this becomes an actual show

Like this??

AND THEN IT GOT FUNDED

(via rainbowstripedpants)

Filed under what? so awesome! it got funded! I didn't even know there was a campaign! all or nothing pansexuality asexuality yay crowdfunding

4 notes

liveblogging the MNOG II

hi friends

fun fact: I never played through the entirety of the MNOG II!  so i shall.  and i shall liveblog it at the url kaysmnogii

also known as

man i haven’t dipped my toe into the Bionicle fandom in years

but more fun facts: that’s where my longstanding internet alias comes from

so if you want to have fun while i keep myself from going insane while J is up north to work

come follow the Ga-Matoran fun

!

Filed under kay's mnog ii bionicle lego mnog ii

37,207 notes

Myers Briggs By Superpowers

readingontheroof:

INFJ: Visions of the future
ESTP: Superhuman strength
INTJ: Immortality
ESFP: Ability to freeze time
INFP: Literary manipulation
ESTJ: Power negation
INTP: Omniscience
ESFJ: Healing powers
ISFJ: Visions of the past
ENTP: Dimensional travel
ISTJ: Photographic memory
ENFP: Reality warping
ISFP: Shape shifting
ENTJ: Mind control
ISTP: Invulnerability
ENFJ: Empathic powers

(via rainbowstripedpants)

Filed under visions of the future and literary manipulation depending on the day what even is literary manipulation?. infx

157,074 notes

drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

drinkmasturbatecry:

nudityandnerdery:

the-fandoms-are-valentines:

grandtheftautosanandreas:

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

"It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

And, of course:

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

(Source: kimkangaskhan, via 1980sspaceman)

Filed under that last one is just perfect douglas adams master of words damn if i can emulate the tiniest bit of his skill i'd be happy